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Best Creative Whatsapp Status Quotes Cool Love
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Winter as Hell – I ordered a pizza and the messenger comes with a Jet …
I saw a shampoo with the title: “Rich-looking” So I washed my purse.
I have a Impudent neighbor Knocking on my door at 2AM He’s lucky I was in a drum lesson.
Don’t think too much, you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.
My back is not a voicemail, say it to my face.
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
A lazy person is the one who can turn a call into a missed call.
Believe on the dog but not on girl.
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better … Well, for me anyway.
If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
Impossible only means that you haven’t found the solution yet.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.
When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
If you were to die tomorrow would you be happy with today?
I smile and act like nothing is wrong, its called putting shit aside and being strong.
I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
At least I can still smoke in my car.
Being stupid is its own reward.
The strawberry shampoo doesn’t taste as good as it smells.
I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.
I cannot tell you how grateful I am, I am filled with humidity.
Don’t call me crazy. I much prefer the term “mentally hilarious”.
A drunk man walks into a bar…but enough about me…
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.
My friends: wow what a perfect morning for a run. Me: wow what a perfect morning to go the heck back to sleep.
If you were a tear in my eyes, I would not cry for the fear of losing you.
The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.
Why does it always rain the hardest on those who deserve the sun?
Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that you’re alive.
All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.
The best part about daylight savings is that the clock in my car is correct again.
Be thankful for all you have, because you never know what will happen next.
Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy!
All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.